Editor’s note: The opinions expressed below, as always, are those of Achilles Heel. Obviously, they do not necessarily reflect the opinions of PhillyPhanatics.com or its co-founders, Eric Fisher and Ron Opher. But PhillyPhanatics.com believes in freedom of expression, which is why we did not edit one word of the following column.
If you were running an Internet site and your gifted columnist writes about a hot and extremely timely topic, would you:
A. Post the column as soon as possible
B. Hold the column for four days and then post it
C. If you need a third choice, you’re as dumb as Ron Opher and Eric Fisher
The obvious answer is B. (The Greek god of wrestling hopes that not many of you got the answer wrong.) But that’s not what happened with last week’s edition of Heel Turns, the best wrestling column on the Internet.
Instead of immediately posting the column, which had information about Daniel Bryan and the Royal Rumble and, more importantly, the breaking news about C.M. Punk leaving WWE, Fisher and Opher held Heel Turns for four days because they wanted – in their words – “all the new stories on the site this week to be related to the Super Bowl.”
By the way, that turned out to be a great game, didn’t it? So instead of posting a column about the hottest topics in wrestling, Fisher and Opher held it so they could promote one of the biggest duds in Super Bowl history. Their brilliance never fails to amaze me. (For those of you new to reading, the previous sentence contains sarcasm.)
Because of their decision, readers of Heel Turns had to wait a full week to read my insights about the Royal Rumble and four days to read my unique perspective on Punk’s situation. Furthermore, there was an item in Heel Turns promoting National Wrestling Day in Easton. That item had to be removed because Heel Turns didn’t run until Sunday night, more than 24 hours after the event. (At least Fisher and Opher had the good sense to remove an outdated item before posting the column.)
Not only does it bother me that my attempt to publicize National Pro Wrestling Day – the event raised money to fight malaria – never saw the light of day, but that item also referred to a surprise that would be revealed during the event. Some of you know about the surprise. Others will find out later in this edition of Heel Turns – which should be posted Wednesday unless Fisher and Opher didn’t learn their lesson last week.
As for my legion of fans, don’t worry. Achilles Heel is not going to “pull a C.M. Punk,” as Fisher (who usually edits this column) put it in last week’s editor’s note. Despite last week’s fiasco, I will continue to impart my wisdom to you each and every week.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY: After a few weeks of WWE-dominated columns, let’s start this edition of Heel Turns – after getting the incompetence of Fisher and Opher out of the way – with a rundown of Combat Zone Wrestling’s 15th anniversary show, which takes place Saturday (7:30 p.m.) at Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees.
The event is headlined by CZW World champion Drew Gulak defending the title against A.J. Styles. Styles isn’t known as “The Phenomenal One” for nothing. This should be a tremendous match to headline the event.
Drake Younger is also returning to CZW to take part in a four-way match with A.R. Fox, Biff Busick and Chris Dickinson. The Beaver Boys put the CZW Tag Team Championship on the line against Murderer’s Row, and Devon Moore defends the CZW Wired TV Championship against Matt Tremont.
Joey Ryan returns to CZW to take on Greg Excellent. There also is a four-way tag team match, and Christina von Eerie battles Candice LeRae.
Tommy Dreamer will also be in attendance. If you know Dreamer, you know he isn’t going to be at Flyers Skate Zone just to wave to the crowd and sign a few autographs. Could Dreamer have something to do with CZW owner D.J. Hyde’s announcements regarding Tournament of Death or the CZW Hall of Fame? You’ll have to be there to find out – or you can order the event over the Internet by going to CZW’s Web site.
Earlier in the day, Women Superstars Uncensored (WSU) will kick off the day with a card of its own (4 p.m.). The main event features Jessicka Havok vs. Alpha Female. There also will be a mixed tag match featuring Chris Dickinson and Shanna against Candice LeRae and Joey Ryan. There is also a WSU tag team title match involving the Midwest Militia (Allysin Kay and Sassy Stephanie) against … WSU may be uncensored, but this Web site is not, so I won’t publish the acronym under which their opponents perform.
CHIKARA RETURNS: The major surprise I hinted at for last Saturday’s National Pro Wrestling Day event in Easton – if the item hadn’t been removed because Heel Turns wasn’t posted in a timely fashion – is the return of CHIKARA.
Many former CHIKARA wrestlers were involved in the event. After a big brawl, Icarus, the man who appeared on the verge of beating Eddie Kingston and becoming CHIKARA’s Grand Champion last June before the show (and the promotion) shut down, carried a sign that read 5/25/14 on it.
A visit to CHIKARA’s Web site has tickets on sale for the return of the promotion on Sun., May 25 (3 p.m.) in Easton. According to tweets on the page, as of Wednesday, only 100 tickets remained.
Loyal readers of Heel Turns know that Achilles Heel is a big CHIKARA fan. CHIKARA pays attention to storylines and knows how to put on a fun show to entertain its fans. The Greek god of wrestling is extremely pleased to see the promotion back in business.
ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: As part of its 12th anniversary celebration in Philadelphia, Ring of Honor will present HonorCon from 1-4 p.m. on Sat., Feb. 22 at the Pennsylvania National Guard Armory in Philadelphia. Entry to the event, which features a question and answer session with Ring of Honor wrestlers, an arm wrestling tournament and a special announcement, is free. There also will be autograph and photo opportunities for a fee. A VIP pass ($59.99) will cover all your autograph and photo fees.
In the main event of the 12th Anniversary show on Fri., Feb. 21 (8 p.m.), Adam Cole will defend the Ring of Honor World Championship against Chris Hero. In another bout, A.J. Styles will battle Jay Lethal. Styles will face “Unbreakable” Michael Elgin at the television taping on Sat., Feb. 22 (7 p.m.), which follows HonorCon.
EXTREME SCHEDULE: Stevie Richards defends the Extreme Rising World Championship on Saturday night in Pittsburgh. If Sabu wins, Richards will receive a rematch on March 1 when Extreme Rising returns to the former ECW Arena in South Philadelphia. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas returns to Extreme Rising in Pittsburgh.
Other matches announced for Philadelphia include a title defense by Richards (if he retains the title in Pittsburgh), Sabu (if he doesn’t win the title) against Damien 666, a six-man tag team bout between BLK Out and Da Hit Squad and Pitbull Gary Wolf.
MAN OF STEEL FLIES: Cody Rhodes took a huge risk on RAW with a moonsault from the top of a steel cage onto Road Dogg Jesse James. The Road Dogg didn’t do much to break Rhodes’ fall, resulting in Cody taking a scary bump. He was quickly pinned by Billy Gunn, so the New Age Outlaws retained the WWE tag team titles against the former champs (Rhodes and Goldust).
Rhodes reportedly is not injured, which is good news after watching him take that scary risk.
EYE OWE YOU: Anyone can see that Cody Rhodes’ moonsault off the steel cage is a very risky move with the potential for injury. But many fans don’t realize that serious injuries can occur from “simple” moves.
John Cena got poked in the eye during a house show match against WWE World Heavyweight champion Randy Orton. Cena’s eye swelled further after the match, which is why he didn’t appear on RAW.
There was another eye injury on RAW. Aksana delivered a knee to the face of a prone Naomi, who suffered a bruised orbital bone or bruised eye socket and a scratched cornea, according to a doctor quote on WWE’s Web site. Throwing a punch or delivering a knee to the face requires skill. Even though it’s not as scary looking as a moonsault off a steel cage, if the knee or punch is not done correctly, it can cause a serious injury.
PATIENCE PAYS OFF: Last week was just the latest time I’ve told fans to be patient regarding Daniel Bryan. With many fans complaining that Bryan hasn’t regained the title, I’ve been preaching patience. Bryan will eventually get his title shot. The longer he is denied opportunities to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, the more it will mean when he wins the championship.
Fans got a taste of the thrill of a Bryan victory when he defeated Orton on RAW in the first in a series of matches Orton will have against his opponents in the Elimination Chamber match at the next WWE pay-per-view. Orton will face Christian on Smackdown this week, and then will battle Cena on RAW next Monday.
WWE IN NEW JERSEY: WWE will return to Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City on Sat., March 22. An announcement regarding tickets sales, which will likely begin this weekend (not including presale offers), should be coming soon. WWE will be in Trenton the next day (5 p.m.) at Sun National Bank Center. Tickets for that event are already on sale.